


storm the gate of nothingness

by shellsinsand



Series: the consequences of light [6]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/M, Post-Kannabi Bridge Mission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 13:02:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19151548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shellsinsand/pseuds/shellsinsand
Summary: Minato, after





	storm the gate of nothingness

**i.**

_You need to be careful,_ Jiraiya-sensei says, _talent doesn’t give you sense._

**ii.**

He stands in the Hokage’s office after his team is dismissed, the sun throwing the Third into shadow, and refuses to bend. The memory of all three of them – kids, really – bloody and curled up under a tarp in the Iwa forest won’t leave him alone.

“Respectfully, Hokage-sama, they need time to heal.” The Third sighs and shifts, the light catching on his pipe.

“War doesn’t offer respite, no matter how we wish it.” He leans forward onto his elbows, face hard. “Your team is a valuable tactical asset.”

“They’ll be a political asset by this time tomorrow,” he says and takes a slow, measured breath. “And no good as either if they die because they’re not ready.”

“Minato – “

“Sir,” he interrupts, staring out at the roof tops of Konoha. How many times did he race his genin team from the gates to the tower, skidding over tiles and dodging laundry lines? Both of them are dead now. They’ve lost almost a quarter of their forces in the last three years. He meets the Hokage’s gaze; Kushina’s going to kill him. “We both know who the real asset is.”

“I can’t keep them here long,” the Hokage says and he almost sounds sorry. “Are you sure?”

“Just, for as long as you can manage.”

**iii.**

There are a lot of things he anticipated when he agreed to take on a genin team: mouthy teenagers, someone setting the training ground on fire, and a fair number of injuries. He really hadn’t been prepared for how _ridiculous_ the whole enterprise would be.

“You needed a cow because… why exactly?” All three of them are covered in mud and Obito is still carrying a sleeping piglet in his arm. Rin is the only one that has the grace to look sheepish.

“It’s a long story, Sensei,” she says. “We didn’t want to trouble you.” Because getting pulled out of the four hour strategy meeting is so much less disruptive. He rubs at his forehead and reminds himself that he’s glad they’re getting along better.

“No cows,” he says and ignores the look Obito and Kakashi share. “And put the pig back.”

“Absolutely, Sensei,” Obito says, with a smile that’s not comforting at all. He waves them off and deliberately doesn’t hear anything that may or may not be said about the applicability of a goat. The strategy meeting should only last another hour and then he’s heading back to the front – any further farm animals would be someone else’s problem.

**iv.**

Jiraiya find him in Rain, ducking into his lean-to fifteen minutes after Gamatatsu leaves.  The space is too small for the both of them but he’s glad for the excuse to slump against his shoulder. It’s been a long time since he could let someone else be in charge for a little bit.

“You couldn’t have sent someone who wouldn’t destroy my rations?” he mumbles, trying to keep himself awake. Jiraiya laughs, deep in his chest, and stretches his legs out in front of him. His toes stick out into the rain.

“Beggars,” he says. They lapse into silence and the drumming of water on the roof lulls Minato into something like calm. He’s so tired that none of this feels real. War doesn’t afford silence or the comforting press of Sensei’s shoulder against his.

“I accepted the ANBU offer,” he says, the words falling out before he can think about them. Tsunade had written him a letter, after Ginko had died, telling him about Jiraiya’s Ame orphans. It isn’t clear if her intention was to apologize or to warn him. Either way, he never brought it up with his sensei. “I had to.”

“Geez, Kid.” Jiraiya doesn’t say anything else; there’s not much else to say.

**v.**

“How are you?” Choza asks. Minato blinks and realizes he’s at the eastern field hospital. The morning is breaking slow and cold. Yesterday, he fought a group of Iwa nin keeping a team of Leaf chunin pinned somewhere in Grass and the day before that he sent a letter to his team from the border of Wind. The active hiraishin tags form an ever present buzz in the back of his head; he swears he can feel it in his teeth sometimes. 

“Fine,” he says, dredging up a smile. “Just tired.” He resists the urge to reach out and clap him on the shoulder, to make sure he’s really there. 

**vi.**

It’s cheating, in a way, but he drops in on Konoha whenever he’s close enough and can justify sparing a few hours. The Kannabi Bridge broke something in his team, but they’ve put themselves back together better than he would have dared to hope for and he lets himself wallow in it. He drags them to meals and morning taijutsu and, once, a cooking class. Kakashi’s the one that puts it together first.

“You gave them something,” he says, after Rin and Obito have split off towards their houses. “That’s why we haven’t been sent out.”

“Yes.” Kakashi stops walking and Minato sighs, turning to face him.

“What did you do?” He’s furious in that cold, still way of his – all five foot nothing of him. It makes Minato’s lungs feel too big for his chest.

“It doesn’t matter,” he says, because he would have given them anything. Maybe he’s too soft, too like Jiraiya, but it always would have turned out this way. The Third wants to name him his successor but for now Minato is a Jounin Sensei first, no matter how selfish that makes him.

“Take it back,” Kakashi says, flat; Minato’s arm itches.

“Kakashi,” he says, and pulls him into a hug..

“We don’t need your protection,” he says into Minato’s vest. A month ago, he would have said _they_. Minato tips his head back and looks at the lanterns crisscrossing the street; it’s been almost four years.

“This is what I want,” he says, and prays Kakashi can accept it.

**vii.**

Kushina slips into his grave sometime just before dawn, curling around him. There’s no sound beside the quite murmur of the sentries; his mask is hiding in the storage seal tattooed on his wrist – an owl of all things. He breathes, tries to stay here and now.

“You’re an idiot,” she whispers, lips brushing his neck. It’s a well-worn line, like fabric that’s been washed too many times. They could be here or sixteen and crammed on her shitty mattress or twenty and sprawled in an inn by the ocean. How does his part go…?

“I love you,” he says, but she’s already asleep.


End file.
